Caesarean.

With Em in breech I chose to have an elective caesarean. I was booked in on Em's due date, which I was extremely happy about because I knew that the longer a baby stays on the inside, the more prepared they will be for the outside

I was hoping that I would go into labour before the pre-planned caesarean because I very much wanted to experience some part of labour, but I made it to the elective caesarean date without a hint of labour.

The night prior to my caesarean I had to stop eating and drinking at midnight.  I was so anxious about the caesarean and excited about meeting Em that I barely slept that night.  I had to get up at 5.30am to be at the hospital by 6.30am.  Once at the hospital I was taken to my room and asked to change into a gown.

I was rolled down to the operating theatre while in my hospital bed.  My hubby had to wait outside the theatre while I had my spinal block administered.

By this stage I was so nervous - about the spinal block (would it hurt a lot), about the caesarean (what would I feel) and about the birth of my baby girl (would she be OK).

I was transferred from my hospital bed on to the operating table.  I had to sit up and bend over a pillow while the anaesthetist administered many local anaesthetics and then the spinal block.  And yes those injections did hurt.  A lot. And there were many, many of them.

My hubby was brought in, a sheet placed in front of me and I had no idea they had actually started, until they were almost finished (so I can say confidently that the spinal block really does work).  It was when I felt a big push on my stomach that I realised they were pulling Em out!  I saw Em briefly, then she was taken away to be checked over by the paediatrician.  I did get to hold her for a while as they were stitching me up, but when they were nearly finished she was given to her dad and I was left alone.

I so wanted to be with my baby girl.  I wanted to look at her. To cuddle her.  To smell her.  To touch her.  But instead I was taken to the recovery area and even though I was told I was OK to go up, I had to wait for ages for someone to come take me to my room because they were under staffed that day.  I would have gotten up and walked if I could have, but considering the fact that I was numb all the way down my legs and couldn't move them, that wasn't exactly possible.

Finally someone came to get me and I couldn't wait to get to my room to see my darling girl.  Arriving there I saw my baby girl being held by my darling husband.  And finally I got to hold my gorgeous girl.

Breech Baby.

During pregnancy babies tend to be in the breech position and turn head down towards the end of pregnancy. Unfortunately Em didn't read the manual and remained in the breech position for the duration of the pregnancy.  I think it might explain all the tremendous back and rib pain I experienced in the last few months of pregnancy, with her head being the biggest part of her body, stuck between my ribs and spine!

At 34 weeks pregnant I began researching methods to turn babies, however this is quite late to be trying to turn a baby around.  I'm not sure if any of the methods do work or not but I did give them a go without any success.

I went to see an acupuncturist who works a lot with pregnant women.  He used a combination of acupuncture and moxibustion to try and turn baby.  I swear during treatment I could feel Em trying to move, but I don't know if that was wishful thinking or not or perhaps she was just scratching her nose or something.

I also read the Spinning Babies website, which has suggestions on how to encourage babies to turn head down, such as the breech tilt.  Unfortunately Em stayed put no matter what I tried and it got to a point where I had to make a decision:

1. Attempt a breech birth (This would be the best option if it worked out , however 1 out of 20 babies die or are injured, which was too high odds for me - not to mention the fact that a breech birth is a lot harder than a normal birth).
2. An obstetrician could attempt to forcibly turn her (but the success rate is extremely low, there is a chance of it ending in an emergency situation and the biggest possibility is that nothing will change at all except I'd be mighty sore and bruised).
3. A scheduled c-section (a major operation after which I'd need to physically recover while taking on the demands of a new baby and there's a small chance she'd be injured or end up in a nursery for a few days under observation).

Faced with the above options I chose to schedule a c-section.  I was so devastated because I knew the best outcome for the two of us was a normal, natural birth. I knew it would be a huge bonding experience between the two of us and something I was really hoping to experience.  Though a small part of me was also somewhat relived that I wouldn't have to face the pain and fear of child birth.

Preparing for a newborn - Output

Change table

I highly recommend getting a chest of drawers and change table in one.  It's been very useful having all of Em's clothes easily accessible while at the change table.  Also a chest of drawers provides more storage. 

You can also buy a change table attachment from baby shops, that you put on top of your own chest of drawers.  We planned to purchase one of those and then buy a set of drawers to go with it but we managed to get a set of drawers and change table in one from Ebay much cheaper than in store.


Change table covers

You will need two change table covers and I also used flat cloth nappies between baby and change table cover for extra protection from leakages.


Nappies

For a new born I think you do about 8+ changes a day.  I now only do about 4 or 5.  So make sure you buy a few bulk packs of newborn nappies.

Later on I also started using modern cloth nappies, which are like disposables in that they are very easy to put on, but they don't end up in landfill like disposables. Plus you are actually supposed to put baby poo in the toilet anyway, because putting it in the trash is a health hazard.

I actually enjoy using the modern cloth nappies because I feel like it's more natural against Em's skin, it feels nicer for her, it is still easy to use, I feel more motherly and I feel like I am doing my bit for the environment and Em's future.  They aren't that much extra work.  Washing them is very easy and you already have to do extra loads of washing anyway.  I also buy flushable inserts which you place between baby and nappy and then you dump poo plus liner into the toilet.  Very easy. 

I use a combination of cloth and disposables now, but try to use cloth as much as I can.


Face washers

I bought a pack of small face washers that I use to dry Em's bottom off after cleaning her and before putting her nappy on to prevent nappy rash.


Wipes

Wipes make the job of cleaning up baby output much easier. You can buy ready made wipes but you can also make your own using face washers or cut up old towels or material. I use ready made wipes for poos and for urine I use a face washer and sometimes some sorbolene.


Nappy rash cream

I recommend Sudocrem.  It's just Zinc (no other additives) and works very well.

Baby bath

While technically nothing to do with baby output as such, it is for cleaning a baby so I thought I'd put it here. You don't actually need a baby bath. You can use a sink instead. But we got given one for free and did find it useful.

Baby bath seat

Once Em moved to the big bath and had good head control we got a baby bath seat to help her sit up in and then she could use her free hands to play.

Preparing for a newborn - Travel

A list of items for a newborn in regards to travelling:

Car Seat

The safest option for a newborn baby is a car capsule but they only last for a few months until baby is too big to fit in it. Still for peace of mind I recommend starting with a car capsule, which can also be hired from local councils for a minimal fee, instead of buying them.

The RACV has information from tests they performed on child restraints to help you choose the safest restraints. You can see how child restraints rated here.

They also have a calculator where you can enter your child's age and weight to determine the best child restraint for your child here.

Strollers 

I love my stroller.  It's a Swallow Beema that we got from Ebay second hand, cheap, in good condition and with all the extras (sun shade, rain cover and bassinet).  It's also the number one stroller recommended by Choice.

These are the features I think are you need in a stroller:

• Big wheels make such a difference to manoeuvrability.  I do like the fact that ours has three big wheels.  It is very easy to steer and to get up and down stairs. 
• Being able to use it with a newborn.
• A detachable bassinet for when baby falls asleep and you want to take them inside somewhere without disturbing them.  Plus we used it as a porta-bed instead of a portacot when Em was small enough to fit in it.  I also sometimes put her in the lounge room with me.
• Check that your stroller fits in your boot! Baby shops will allow you to try out the strollers in your boot. Then you can go to Ebay and save yourself some dollars.

Slings

I have two slings which I both love.  For a newborn I recommend the Hugabub (there are cheaper versions you can get online though).  It is tricky to put on but you do get the hang of it very quickly.  It keeps baby very close to your body and distributes the weight evenly over your shoulders and hips.  It is so versatile with many different positions you can put baby in.  Em used to sleep in it and I still use it now sometimes. 

I got an Ergo later on, which I can't recommend highly enough.  You can use the Ergo for a newborn but you have to buy a special insert and I didn't think it would be as cosy for a small baby.  It is very quick and easy to put on and all the weight is distributed on your hips rather than your shoulders.  It's also ergonomical for babies as well as the person wearing it. That means you can use it for hours at a time.  I bought my Ergo online (so much cheaper than in stores).  The only problem with it is that you cannot put baby facing outwards in it.  But Em doesn't seem to care about that.

Nappy Bag

We have two nappy bags, one big one that I use when heading out for a whole day that I pack full of nappies, food and toys. And a smaller one that looks more like a handbag and I put things like my wallet and phone in as well as Em's things. I got both from department stores, which were so much cheaper than the baby stores.

Car Mirror We found having a car mirror useful to see what Em was up to in the car, like if she was sleeping.

Portacot

If you don't have a bassinet and plan to visit people for long periods of time or to go away then you will need a portacot. I can't comment much on them because we got given a second hand one for free.

Preparing for a newborn - Feeding.

A list of items for a newborn in regards to their feeding:

Lansinoh

If you are going to breast feed you will need Lansinoh or something equivalent. It is used to soothe, heal and protect sore cracked nipples and is safe for babies who breast feed. I recommend buying a tube before you go to hospital. You only use a very small amount each time so a small tube is fine. You can find Lansinoh at chemists in the baby items section.

Breast feeding pillow

There are special breast feeding pillows, which I can't comment on because I have never used one. I was given a triangular pillow as a gift and I was very happy with it. What I liked about it is that I could buy spare covers for it. I have 3 covers for the pillow. I don't know if you can buy spare covers for the special breastfeeding pillows or not. I found having the covers was very useful when there were leakages whilst feeding. I could simply whip off the cover, throw it in the wash and replace it with a clean cover.


Flat Cloth Terry Towel Nappies

I bought three packs of flat cloth terry towel nappies.  They were so useful, such as:

1. Between baby and pillow whilst feeding (or use cotton wraps) to catch leakages;
2. To wipe up leakages;
3. Carried in nappy bag to put over change tables whilst out; and
   
4. On change table between baby and change mat at home.

Maternity Bras and Singlets

You need to go to a bra store to be properly fitted for maternity bras.  As for maternity singlets I loved Bonds Bumps Maternity Singlets. I also bought a few cheap singlets in a slightly bigger size and wore them with maternity bras under and a T-shirt over the top, so that the singlets could be pulled down over the bra for feeding and hide my stomach.


Breast Pads

I recommend buying reusable breast pads.  They cost more than disposables but overall they will save you money.  Plus they feel nicer than disposables and are better for the environment.  I love Swaddlebees Organic Velour Breast Pads because they are the biggest ones I could find, so provide better coverage.  They also felt the nicest.  If using disposables I liked Johnson & Johnson breast pads.

 

Breast Pump

At first I used a manual breast pump, which worked well for me but once my flow settled down it was very hard to get any milk out.  Eventually I got an electric breast pump and found I could get a lot more milk with no effort on my part.  An electric pump is a lot more expensive, so you might want to start with a manual first.  However, an electric is a lot easier to use and I do recommend it over a manual pump.

Bottles 

If you do breast feed you might still want bottles so that your baby can be fed expressed milk while you go out.  At one stage Em wouldn't take a bottle at all and I tried Tommy Tippee Closer to Nature and that worked.  Probably because it's shaped more like a breast.  You will also need a bottle brush & steriliser.

Bibs

Having some small bibs was very useful for burping (vomiting). I used to put bibs on Em when driving too because she would often vomit in the car.

Preparing for a newborn - Sleep

A list of items for a newborn baby in regards to their sleep:

Wraps

Wraps help babies sleep better because they are tight and secure (womb like). You'll hopefully learn how to wrap your babies during birth classes or at hospital. You will need at least:
- 3 Flannel wraps
- 3 Cotton wraps
- 3 Muslin wraps

But you might want to get more than three cotton ones. Wraps were also useful for covering up whilst breastfeeding, for using as a travel play mat and for wiping up vomit. I also used them under baby whilst breast feeding to catch nappy leakages. So maybe even 6 or 9 cotton ones would be useful.

I found the smaller sized wraps more useful at first but as Em grew I needed the bigger sizes.

Cot

You can use a cot from birth but I did get a bassinet because I wanted Em in our bedroom and a cot wouldn't have fit. If you buy a second hand cot make sure you get a new mattress. Old mattresses have been linked to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

Bassinet

You don't need a bassinet because you can put a baby in a cot from birth. However, I found it very useful because it is higher up so you are not bending over so much to put baby down for naps (even with the cot on its highest setting you are still bending over a lot and it puts strain on your back!) and it seemed more cosy for Em. I do recommend getting one but it is an extra expense and something you don't need.

Sleep suits

You probably need at least ten sleep suits in size 000 for a newborn but having more than ten sleep suits may be useful. You may have to change your baby a few times a day if their nappy leaks, plus with a newborn it's easiest to just leave them in sleep suits all day. Newborns tend to dislike being dressed and undressed too often.

Singlets

You probably want at least ten singlets in size 000. They can be worn under the sleep suits for extra warmth, or on hot days a nappy and singlet may be enough clothing.

Sheets

Normally you get sheets in a pack with fitted sheet, flat sheet and pillow case, but you can purchase them individually. You don't need the pillow case at all as SIDS guidelines state not to use pillows in cots because of the risk of suffocation. You need a fitted sheet and a flat sheet can be used between a blanket and baby. For a bassinet I used cotton wraps as a flat sheet. You will also need to buy two protective fitted sheets (mattress protector) to save the mattress from leaking nappies.

Blankets

Two blankets are needed (cot and bassinet sized if needed). They can be folded over for extra warmth. On very warm nights I used a cotton or muslin wrap to cover Em.

Sleeping bags

You can buy sleeping bags for newborn babies but I think newborns prefer to be wrapped because it is tighter and more secure. Once they start rolling or getting out of their wraps it's time to think about sleeping bags. I prefer sleeping bags over using sheets and blanket because once Em started moving she was always outside of the covers! With a sleeping bag she stays in her covers where ever she moves.

I'd heard great things about Grobags, so I bought a couple to try, but I found that they are very expensive for no added benefit over cheaper bags (overseas they are a lot cheaper and nothing special. Somehow they became very popular in Australia and the importer made them very expensive so everyone thinks they are best. I like Living Textiles bags, which are the same as Grobags for half the price. I also like Snugtime but they are different to Grobags.

Rocking chair

Great for rocking your baby to sleep. I got mine second hand from Ebay and it was one of the best buys I made. It was so useful when my feet were hurting from pacing around trying to get Em to sleep. I was able to get off my feet in a rocking chair and still be moving. It was also very comfortable for breast feeding Em in, especially in the early days when I was trying to get the hang of it. Plus I still use mine now for reading Em stories in before bed.

Lamp

So you can have softer light in the room and not wake baby (or you) up so much.

Miscarriage.

Unfortunately pregnancy can lead to miscarriage and from my research it's actually very common and most women will experience at least one miscarriage whilst trying to conceive. Most miscarriages happen at the time your next period is due and hence most women think they are having a normal period, rather than a miscarriage, and never notice it.

During the first three months of pregnancy the risk of miscarriage is higher than later, but a miscarriage can happen at any time. I know of one woman who was pregnant around the same time as me and she lost her baby at 8 months! It was such a shock to me that it could still happen that late in pregnancy. Of course it was devastating for her, left her full of grief and wondering if she would ever be able to carry a baby to term. I can't even imagine what she must have gone through - having to birth her stillborn baby girl and then bury her.

I have been pregnant twice now. With my first pregnancy there was something wrong from the start. I didn't get my period but no pregnancy tests showed that I was pregnant. I saw a doctor who told me to wait another week and then she did a blood test which confirmed my pregnancy but also showed that there were very low hormone levels.

I knew I was pregnant and became attached to the baby in my belly. A couple of weeks later I started bleeding and it continued for a month. I was devastated. It was very early on. I must have only been about 6 weeks, but I was still so sad. What I found even worse was that no one knew about my pregnancy or miscarriage and I suffered alone. I had to grieve the loss and it left me wondering if I'd be able to carry a baby to term. I realise that it must not have been a viable embryo but I still felt like I had lost a baby.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant a second time I told my closest family and friends. I didn't want to be alone again if I miscarried again.

If you have been effected by miscarriage and you are struggling with the loss seek help by talking to family, friends or a counsellor. The grief is real. The loss is real.

Choosing a birth place.

1) Private hospital

Pros :

• You choose a private caregiver who looks after you for your entire pregnancy
• Private hospitals generally have good facilities
• You have your own private room
• Your partner can stay the night
• You have help 24 hours a day while you stay in hospital

Cons:

• It is more costly, even with private health insurance you will still be out of pocket
• Statistics have shown that more medical intervention (e.g. caesarians) occur in private hospitals than they do in the public health system
• There are no facilities to deal with very premature babies so you will be moved to a public hospital if that situation arises

2) Public hospital

Pros:

• It's free
• Statistics have shown that less medical intervention occurs at public hospitals
  
• A lot of public hospitals have great facilities now with birth centres fully equipped with things like baths, fit balls, etc and mid-wives rather than obstetricians
• Public hospitals are better able to deal with unusual emergencies
• You have help 24 hours a day while you stay in hospital
  

Cons:

• You will see a different caregiver every time you attend a check up
• There are no private rooms
• Partners cannot stay the night

3) Home birth

Pros:

• No medical intervention - all natural birth
• You can choose to birth in a birth pool (hospitals will not allow you to give birth in a bath)
• You choose your midwife and they look after all your prenatal care and birth
• You birth within the comfort of your own home with whoever you want present

Cons:

• If a medical emergency occurs you need to get to a hospital
• It is costly
• You don't have immediate help on hand directly after the birth but you can contact your chosen mid-wife for advice

My Choice

I chose to go with a private obstetrician for my prenatal and birth care because I wanted one caregiver throughout my pregnancy and I had good private health cover. I found an obstetrician whose clinic had three other obstetricians who all shared the care of each other's patients. Throughout my pregnancy I had appointments to meet each obstetrician so that if my doctor wasn't available at the time of birth I would already know the other doctors, one of whom would be present. I chose a female obstetrician (and the other doctors were all female too) because I wanted my doctor to understand what I was going through and what birth was actually like.

I also liked the private hospital I went to which had birthing suites with huge spa baths, showers, fit balls, big comfortable beds which could be converted into birthing stools, plus more. The rooms looked more like a nice hotel room than a birthing room. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to use a birthing suite due to Em being in the breech position.

Also my private hospital was within a public hospital, which was important to my husband. It meant that if there was a big emergency I would be rushed a couple of floors away, rather than having to spend time in transit to another hospital. (Just before I fell pregnant there was a case of a woman dying after labour because of the time it took to transport her to a public hospital, hence why it was particularly important to my husband. It also means that if your baby needs special care they can be also be transported a couple of floors away, rather than to another hospital).

My final reason for going private was so that I would have my own private room (I am a light sleeper and I knew I would need my sleep) and so that my husband could stay the night. My husband being able to stay the night turned out to be very much needed when I was very sick for the first two days after birth and I couldn't get up to our daughter at all. He did all the nappy changes and brought her to me for feeding. Again the room was more like a hotel room than a hospital and we had a double bed to share. The staff were very helpful and there was a breast feeding room available during the day for women to go to for help from lactation consultants. Overall, I was very happy with my choice of hospital.

Preventing Whooping Cough in babies.

Whooping cough (pertussis) is a serious, contagious respiratory infection, which can affect anyone but is particularly dangerous for babies. It is recommended that women planning on becoming pregnant receive a booster dose of the vaccine a few months prior to becoming pregnant, or the vaccine can be given soon after the birth of the baby. Fathers should also have the vaccine prior to the baby's birth. This protects the baby during their first few months of life when the illness is most serious for babies and when parents are the primary people in contact with the baby.

You can read more here.

Recommended Baby Books.

I highly recommend "Baby Love" by Robin Barker. Robin is an experienced nurse, midwife and early childhood nurse as well as a mother and grandmother. The book is easy to read and full of helpful advice and information on sleeping, crying, breastfeeding, nutrition, illnesses and growth and development. It also has a section of recipes for babies and it is Australian so it has Australian specific resources.

Another book I highly recommend is "The Wonder Weeks" by Hetty Vanderijt and Frans Plooij. The Wonder Weeks is about the eight major developmental leaps that babies make within their first 14 months. It covers how to help your baby through these fussy periods, what they go through during this time and what the developmental leaps are. It also covers which games and toys are best for babies at different ages and stages. This book was hugely valuable to me. It was good to understand what Em was going through at different times and also to know what sorts of games and toys would suit her best at the different stages. As a new mother I often found myself wondering "what's going on now" and this book helped me to understand why Em was doing what she was doing and what she was trying to learn. I also found myself not knowing what games or toys to introduce and when. Again this book helped me to know when the best times to introduce different games and toys were. I really can't recommend this book highly enough. I think every new mother should have a copy. The only problem I found is that it is not available in book shops. Perhaps you can ask for it to be ordered in? I found it easiest and cheapest to search online. The book typically retails for about $50 in Australia but if you search around you can find it for around $30. It is also available in libraries and that's how I first stumbled across it.