Caesarean.

With Em in breech I chose to have an elective caesarean. I was booked in on Em's due date, which I was extremely happy about because I knew that the longer a baby stays on the inside, the more prepared they will be for the outside

I was hoping that I would go into labour before the pre-planned caesarean because I very much wanted to experience some part of labour, but I made it to the elective caesarean date without a hint of labour.

The night prior to my caesarean I had to stop eating and drinking at midnight.  I was so anxious about the caesarean and excited about meeting Em that I barely slept that night.  I had to get up at 5.30am to be at the hospital by 6.30am.  Once at the hospital I was taken to my room and asked to change into a gown.

I was rolled down to the operating theatre while in my hospital bed.  My hubby had to wait outside the theatre while I had my spinal block administered.

By this stage I was so nervous - about the spinal block (would it hurt a lot), about the caesarean (what would I feel) and about the birth of my baby girl (would she be OK).

I was transferred from my hospital bed on to the operating table.  I had to sit up and bend over a pillow while the anaesthetist administered many local anaesthetics and then the spinal block.  And yes those injections did hurt.  A lot. And there were many, many of them.

My hubby was brought in, a sheet placed in front of me and I had no idea they had actually started, until they were almost finished (so I can say confidently that the spinal block really does work).  It was when I felt a big push on my stomach that I realised they were pulling Em out!  I saw Em briefly, then she was taken away to be checked over by the paediatrician.  I did get to hold her for a while as they were stitching me up, but when they were nearly finished she was given to her dad and I was left alone.

I so wanted to be with my baby girl.  I wanted to look at her. To cuddle her.  To smell her.  To touch her.  But instead I was taken to the recovery area and even though I was told I was OK to go up, I had to wait for ages for someone to come take me to my room because they were under staffed that day.  I would have gotten up and walked if I could have, but considering the fact that I was numb all the way down my legs and couldn't move them, that wasn't exactly possible.

Finally someone came to get me and I couldn't wait to get to my room to see my darling girl.  Arriving there I saw my baby girl being held by my darling husband.  And finally I got to hold my gorgeous girl.