Choosing a birth place.

1) Private hospital

Pros :

• You choose a private caregiver who looks after you for your entire pregnancy
• Private hospitals generally have good facilities
• You have your own private room
• Your partner can stay the night
• You have help 24 hours a day while you stay in hospital

Cons:

• It is more costly, even with private health insurance you will still be out of pocket
• Statistics have shown that more medical intervention (e.g. caesarians) occur in private hospitals than they do in the public health system
• There are no facilities to deal with very premature babies so you will be moved to a public hospital if that situation arises

2) Public hospital

Pros:

• It's free
• Statistics have shown that less medical intervention occurs at public hospitals
  
• A lot of public hospitals have great facilities now with birth centres fully equipped with things like baths, fit balls, etc and mid-wives rather than obstetricians
• Public hospitals are better able to deal with unusual emergencies
• You have help 24 hours a day while you stay in hospital
  

Cons:

• You will see a different caregiver every time you attend a check up
• There are no private rooms
• Partners cannot stay the night

3) Home birth

Pros:

• No medical intervention - all natural birth
• You can choose to birth in a birth pool (hospitals will not allow you to give birth in a bath)
• You choose your midwife and they look after all your prenatal care and birth
• You birth within the comfort of your own home with whoever you want present

Cons:

• If a medical emergency occurs you need to get to a hospital
• It is costly
• You don't have immediate help on hand directly after the birth but you can contact your chosen mid-wife for advice

My Choice

I chose to go with a private obstetrician for my prenatal and birth care because I wanted one caregiver throughout my pregnancy and I had good private health cover. I found an obstetrician whose clinic had three other obstetricians who all shared the care of each other's patients. Throughout my pregnancy I had appointments to meet each obstetrician so that if my doctor wasn't available at the time of birth I would already know the other doctors, one of whom would be present. I chose a female obstetrician (and the other doctors were all female too) because I wanted my doctor to understand what I was going through and what birth was actually like.

I also liked the private hospital I went to which had birthing suites with huge spa baths, showers, fit balls, big comfortable beds which could be converted into birthing stools, plus more. The rooms looked more like a nice hotel room than a birthing room. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to use a birthing suite due to Em being in the breech position.

Also my private hospital was within a public hospital, which was important to my husband. It meant that if there was a big emergency I would be rushed a couple of floors away, rather than having to spend time in transit to another hospital. (Just before I fell pregnant there was a case of a woman dying after labour because of the time it took to transport her to a public hospital, hence why it was particularly important to my husband. It also means that if your baby needs special care they can be also be transported a couple of floors away, rather than to another hospital).

My final reason for going private was so that I would have my own private room (I am a light sleeper and I knew I would need my sleep) and so that my husband could stay the night. My husband being able to stay the night turned out to be very much needed when I was very sick for the first two days after birth and I couldn't get up to our daughter at all. He did all the nappy changes and brought her to me for feeding. Again the room was more like a hotel room than a hospital and we had a double bed to share. The staff were very helpful and there was a breast feeding room available during the day for women to go to for help from lactation consultants. Overall, I was very happy with my choice of hospital.

Preventing Whooping Cough in babies.

Whooping cough (pertussis) is a serious, contagious respiratory infection, which can affect anyone but is particularly dangerous for babies. It is recommended that women planning on becoming pregnant receive a booster dose of the vaccine a few months prior to becoming pregnant, or the vaccine can be given soon after the birth of the baby. Fathers should also have the vaccine prior to the baby's birth. This protects the baby during their first few months of life when the illness is most serious for babies and when parents are the primary people in contact with the baby.

You can read more here.

Recommended Baby Books.

I highly recommend "Baby Love" by Robin Barker. Robin is an experienced nurse, midwife and early childhood nurse as well as a mother and grandmother. The book is easy to read and full of helpful advice and information on sleeping, crying, breastfeeding, nutrition, illnesses and growth and development. It also has a section of recipes for babies and it is Australian so it has Australian specific resources.

Another book I highly recommend is "The Wonder Weeks" by Hetty Vanderijt and Frans Plooij. The Wonder Weeks is about the eight major developmental leaps that babies make within their first 14 months. It covers how to help your baby through these fussy periods, what they go through during this time and what the developmental leaps are. It also covers which games and toys are best for babies at different ages and stages. This book was hugely valuable to me. It was good to understand what Em was going through at different times and also to know what sorts of games and toys would suit her best at the different stages. As a new mother I often found myself wondering "what's going on now" and this book helped me to understand why Em was doing what she was doing and what she was trying to learn. I also found myself not knowing what games or toys to introduce and when. Again this book helped me to know when the best times to introduce different games and toys were. I really can't recommend this book highly enough. I think every new mother should have a copy. The only problem I found is that it is not available in book shops. Perhaps you can ask for it to be ordered in? I found it easiest and cheapest to search online. The book typically retails for about $50 in Australia but if you search around you can find it for around $30. It is also available in libraries and that's how I first stumbled across it.

Back ache.

During the second trimester my back started aching, especially towards the end of the day. Then during the third trimester my back got worse and worse and got to a point where it was hurting all day long. I couldn't get comfortable. It also affected my sleep. By the end of the day I was in agony. I'm not sure if it was because my baby was big or because she was in breech or just because.

What helped me was:

• Doing a course through my hospital, run by a physiotherapist, about managing your back, pelvic floor and other pregnancy issues. If your hospital doesn't run such a course I would recommend seeing a physiotherapist who specialises in women's health. You will be given exercises to do at home, which did help relieve my back ache. You will also be given information on how to sit, stand and lie so that you are in the best position to prevent aches. The course also covered birth and the best positions to use to relieve pain.
  
• Doing the stretches given to you by the physiotherapist every day.
  
• Using lots of pillows in bed to support your legs and growing belly. I also used pillows when sitting on the couch and in the car to support my back into a more comfortable position.
• Seeing an osteopath regularly to manipulate and massage the back to relieve pressure.
• Getting regular massage to relieve muscle soreness.
• Sitting on a chair backwards so that you are leaning on the back of the chair. This really worked well to relieve back ache and was very comfortable.
• Walking regularly.
  

Carpal tunnel.

I suffered from carpal tunnel during my pregnancy (pains and numbness in my hands). Unfortunately there's not much you can do about it. I found massage, physiotherapy and wearing a wrist and hand splint eased my hand pain but never got rid of it altogether and by the end of the day my hands were much sorer and more tingly. Towards the end of pregnancy it was a lot worse and during the last month my hands were pretty much unusable because of the shooting, stabbing pains and pins and needles.

At the same (weird) time (because I just have to do things differently to everyone) I experienced the same pains and pins and needles in my knees and feet. It got to a point where I couldn't kneel down or bend my knees much at all. Walking hurt too.

I was actually told that my hands, feet and knees weren't carpal tunnel by my obstetrician but she couldn't offer me any other explanation, except to say 'that's very weird'.

Yes my pregnancy was filled with weird aches and pains. Then I had a c-section which made my feet swell to twice their size (seriously) and it made the pain and numbness in my feet even worse.

To this day, one year after the birth of Em, I am still suffering from pins and needles in my thumbs, knees and my feet, but thankfully the pain has gone. The only explanation I have been given is that it is probably nerve dampening caused by all the swelling in my pregnancy and c-section and nerves take a very, very long time to heal.

I do feel very unusual in these symptoms and am yet to find another women who has experienced this in their hands, knees and feet.

As I said I do like to be different.

Why breastfeed?

There are so many reasons why every woman should breastfeed her baby. (Of course there are some women who can't because of medical reasons and my intention is not to make you feel guilty if you fall into that category.)

So here are some of the reasons for breastfeeding.

• There is absolutely NO substitute for breastfeeding. Breast milk contains all the nutrients and anti-bodies designed and required by human babies. It contains immunities to diseases and aids in the development of the baby's immune system. Formula does not and is NOT a substitute. Breast milk is the PERFECT food for human babies.
• Breastfeeding decreases a baby's chance of ear infections, diarrhoeal infections, respiratory infection, allergies & asthma + lots more. Breastfed babies are generally healthier than formula fed babies.
  
• Breastfeeding helps bonding between baby and mother, which helps with the emotional growth of the baby.
• Breast milk is FREE.
• Breast milk changes in taste depending on what the mother eats so baby is exposed to many different tastes. Formula tastes the same every time.
  
• Breast milk is easier to digest than formula.
  
• Breast milk is always ready and at the perfect temperature. No bottles to wash and sterilise. No need to pack bottles when going out.
  
• Breastfeeding produces no waste.
  
• Breastfeeding aids the mother's recovery after birth by shrinking the uterus quickly to it's pre-pregnancy size and helps to prevent post-partum haemorrhaging.
• Breastfeeding helps the mother lose weight after birth.
  
• Breastfeeding decreases a mother's chance of breast cancer.
• It is natural and it is what the breasts were designed for.
  

Preparing for breast feeding.

To prepare for breast feeding I recommend reading books or chapters on breast feeding. In particular I recommend the books Birth: Conceiving, Nurturing and Giving Birth to your Baby by Catherine Price and Sandra Robinson and Baby Love by Robin Barker for their comprehensive information. There are also courses on breast feeding, which will be run by your hospital and you can get great information from the ABA (Australian Breastfeeding Association).

To be honest at the time when I was reading and learning about breast feeding I found it frustrating because I often didn't really understand what they meant. It seemed pointless to be learning about something that you cannot practice. However, once my baby arrived I realised how useful it was to know everything I knew about breast feeding. Sure, I still didn't know how to actually do it but I knew:

• It would be difficult;
• It would be painful to begin with;
• To begin with I would be feeding 8 to 12 times a day;
• A feed would take an hour to begin with;
  
• The sorts of problems that could arise and how to deal with them;
• About the existence of lactation consultants who could help with any problems that arose;
  
• There would be temporary periods of time when the baby would feed longer and more often and they were periods of growth;
• The more milk a baby takes the more you make; and
  
• There is plenty of help out there for mothers - lactation consultants, health centre nurses, ABA, drop in clinics, etc and having a supportive partner and family is also important.
  

Armed with this information I think is part of the key to success. If you enter breast feeding expecting it to be a lot of hard work but definitely achievable and knowing that there is actually plenty of help out there then you are much more likely to succeed. A lot of women incorrectly believe they don't have a big enough supply when their baby starts feeding more often, when in fact it is a temporary period of time to increase your supply.

Of course sometimes breast feeding doesn't work out even after you have put your best effort in but I also think a lot of women give up perhaps because they didn't expect it to be such hard work.

Comments.

Being pregnant gives everyone the right to comment on your body apparently. It's OK to tell someone that they are fat or skinny, showing or not showing or that their face is fat and blotchy.

Sometimes I would receive these comments all in one day and I'm not sure how it is possible to be big and small, showing and not showing all at the same time..

Stretch marks.

I was so lucky during my pregnancy because I didn't develop any stretch marks. I used anti stretch mark cream daily, rubbing it into my expanding belly, just in case that's what was keeping them at bay.

Towards the end of pregnancy I did see a few stretch marks around my belly button but that was all. I was happy with that.

Then just before I had my baby I exclaimed to my husband how lucky I was to get through pregnancy and only end up with a few small stretch marks around my belly button. To which he replied that I did in fact have plenty of stretch marks. What?!?!?! Where?!?!?! Under my belly - where I could not see.

The thing is I didn't use the anti stretch mark cream much under my belly. I couldn't see there and it was hard to reach there.

So maybe I could be a model for anti stretch mark creams (cocoa butter if you are interested) - look here where I used it no marks! Just don't look at my lower belly.

Prenancy Heartburn.

For pregnancy heartburn I found three things that helped:

1. Putting towels under the head of the mattress to raise my upper body whilst sleeping (you could use any other soft material - clothes, pillows, etc.);
   
2. Drinking milk after every meal. This seemed to work very well for me and eased that burning sensation.; and
   
3. Avoiding spicy, rich or citrus foods.
   

Pre-Prenancy Planning.

About six months before trying for a baby I went to a doctor for a pre-pregnancy check up. It made sense to me to check on my body's health so that any problems could be tackled before falling pregnant. It is also important to note that a check up should be done at least six months before falling pregnant but any time beforehand is better than not doing it.

The check up involved determining whether I was deficient in any vitamins or minerals and also analysing my current immunisation levels. I also received valuable information at the check up, such as taking Folate for at least one month before trying for a baby and that my husband should go get a vaccination booster to eliminate the risk of passing an illness to a newborn.

I am glad I had a check up as it did reveal I needed a vaccination booster. It was also good to know that my body was healthy and I had all the right balance of nutrients. I plan to have a check up before each pregnancy because I know that things can change.

I must say I am actually surprised that most women don't have a pre-pregnancy check up. It doesn't matter how young or old you are. How fit or healthy you feel. Getting your body ready prior to falling pregnant is better than trying to fix things once you are pregnant. A baby will sap all your nutrients from your body so it's important to make sure you are at your healthiest to begin with. Why put your pregnancy, health or your baby's heath in any unnecessary risk?

Leg cramps.

Until you have experienced a pregnancy caused leg cramp then you have not experienced a leg cramp I say. Pregnancy leg cramps are a whole new experience and boy do they hurt. It feels like your whole muscle is being ripped in half. Worst still it always felt like the cramp would never end. I always thought I would just have to learn to live with the agonising pain of a muscle being torn in two. There was nothing to do but cry and moan until thankfully it did eventually subside. The next morning I would wake and my muscle would be really sore, as though I'd done some heavy exercise the night before.

Happily I found that taking Magnesium supplements helped me. While I still got the leg cramps they occured less frequently and with less force.

For any subsequent pregnancies I plan on taking Magnesium from the start, in the hope that it may prevent the leg cramps altogether.

Recommended pregnancy books.

Before trying for a baby I decided to get a book about pregnancy to find out what I was actually getting myself in for.

I bought Birth: Conceiving, Nurturing and Giving Birth to your Baby by Catherine Price and Sandra Robinson and found it to be a gem. It is written by two Australian mid-wives, so it has relevant Australian information. It is packed full of knowledge on conception, pregnancy, birth and newborns. There are also pros and cons on topics, which aide in decision making. I constantly devoured this book during pregnancy.

Another book I recommend is Up the Duff by Kaz Cooke. It is also written by an Australian and has lots of useful, relevant information, but it is written in a humorous way (which is something very much needed on occasion).

How to create that pregnancy glow.

When I was pregnant I found that people thought it was OK to comment on my appearance, even telling me when they thought I looked awful.

Thanks.. really appreciated. Of course every pregnant woman likes to have a running commentary about her expanding body.

Anyway, my face went blotchy whilst I was pregnant. I guess thanks to those lovely pregnancy hormones.

And people kept pointing that out to me. "Your face is blotchy" they'd say. Yes I know. But thank you SO much for pointing that out to me because I wasn't self conscious enough about it.

Funny enough their comments did get to me and I began to feel like a bit of an ugly freak. Now I think it's time to mention that I don't wear make up. I think wearing make up maybe makes me look a little nicer but I just can't be bothered putting it on every morning. If it's a choice between catching a few extra z's and putting on make up to look a little nicer - I choose the sleep!

I do however moisturise every morning. So I decided to buy a tinted moisturiser. Yep.. it made me look a little nicer. But I couldn't have guessed what would happen as soon as I started using it. Suddenly, according to every one, I had that pregnancy glow!

By the way what is a pregnancy glow - I have never seen anyone glowing while they are pregnant! I also have no idea what people were seeing in me. All I could see was a blotchy face covered in tint.

So there's my secret to creating that pregnant glow - whatever the heck that means.

An exercise in pain management.

Here's a little exercise given to me by a physiotherapist whilst I was pregnant to help me think about my pain management strategies:

1. Hold your arms out straight at the sides of your body.
   
2. Bend your knees.
3. Hold for five minutes.
   

During the exercise I really wanted to massage my legs or grip something or move or groan or all of the above. So touch, movement and vocalising are part of my pain management techniques.

Unfortunately I can't say whether or not using these pain management strategies would have been enough to get me through labour, as I ended up having a caesarean. But I thought it was a useful exercise in starting to think about what sort of pain management techniques might work.

The search for reasonably priced maternity clothes.

In my opinion maternity clothes are far too expensive for what they really are - a temporary wardrobe! I discovered that some of the baby clothing stores (such as Pumpkin Patch & JK Kids) stock maternity clothes - the best time to shop there is during their sales.

I also bought a lot of clothes on online auction sites. Of course there is ebay but there are alternatives to ebay (search for "online auctions"). In fact I purchased three of my favourite items from an auction site (Oztion) at a fantastic price because no one else was bidding.

One particularly useful buy was a belly band, which I could use to cover my growing belly and still wear normal tops. I also found buying a few pairs of men's socks was great for my expanding feet.

Morning Sickness.

So you are pregnant and you feel like you have a hideous hangover or a bad case of food poisoning. You feel like you are on the verge of throwing up all the time. Maybe you are actually throwing up or, if you are like me, you never actually vomit, so there is never any relief.

Yep I'm afraid that's normal morning sickness and there ain't much you can do about it. Before I was pregnant I thought (from good old TV and movies of course) that morning sickness was where you just vomit occasionally. I didn't realise I would feel terribly ill ALL THE TIME. The only relief I had was when sleeping and unconscious.

So what can you do about it. Well nothing really. But here are a few things that helped me a bit:

1. Always carrying around snack foods such as peanuts and dried apricots. Somehow I felt worse when I was hungry, even though I didn't want to eat a thing! So keeping snacks on hand to nibble on when required always helped ease things a bit.


2. Vitamin B6 apparently helps. I did take this regularly and I think maybe it eased things by like 1%.


3. Ginger. I took regular ginger tablets, which again helped by about 1%.


4. Keeping food by the bed for when you wake during the night hungry and sick.


5. Having a supportive partner who can bring you food in bed first thing in the morning. Yes I did actually feel worse in the morning and needed to eat before I could manage to crawl out of bed. Toast with butter or vegemite worked well here.

There are also medications you can take (talk to your doctor) but none of them helped me at all.

The thing to remember, which is what I struggled with most, is that it does go away eventually. It was an extremely tough three months for me though. I just couldn't function as normal and couldn't eat properly. I had to give up pretty much everything during that time. I would somehow drag myself to work and then lie on the couch or in bed when at home. Eventually I was able to eat again and then food tasted exceptional. I guess it would to anyone who had a diet of dried apricots, peanuts and toast for three months!

I think it's also important to note that from my research I found that it doesn't matter if you are not eating well during those first few months. Babies have their own supply of nutrients during that time.

If you are reading this and are currently suffering from morning sickness then my heart goes out to you. Feel free to share your tips on how to ease morning sickness.

Introduction.

I am a mum to a currently 8 month old gorgeous girl (Em) and decided to start a Blog as a means of documenting the things I have learnt during pregnancy and motherhood. I guess if I go back for a second round of pregnancy, I can read back over my mistakes and the things I've learnt from them and try not to make the same ones again.

Since becoming pregnant and having my beautiful daughter I noticed that people don't talk about the truth of pregnancy, birth and raising a child - until you are there yourself. So my plan is to be truthful and hopefully helpful.

Happy reading. xx