Miscarriage.

Unfortunately pregnancy can lead to miscarriage and from my research it's actually very common and most women will experience at least one miscarriage whilst trying to conceive. Most miscarriages happen at the time your next period is due and hence most women think they are having a normal period, rather than a miscarriage, and never notice it.

During the first three months of pregnancy the risk of miscarriage is higher than later, but a miscarriage can happen at any time. I know of one woman who was pregnant around the same time as me and she lost her baby at 8 months! It was such a shock to me that it could still happen that late in pregnancy. Of course it was devastating for her, left her full of grief and wondering if she would ever be able to carry a baby to term. I can't even imagine what she must have gone through - having to birth her stillborn baby girl and then bury her.

I have been pregnant twice now. With my first pregnancy there was something wrong from the start. I didn't get my period but no pregnancy tests showed that I was pregnant. I saw a doctor who told me to wait another week and then she did a blood test which confirmed my pregnancy but also showed that there were very low hormone levels.

I knew I was pregnant and became attached to the baby in my belly. A couple of weeks later I started bleeding and it continued for a month. I was devastated. It was very early on. I must have only been about 6 weeks, but I was still so sad. What I found even worse was that no one knew about my pregnancy or miscarriage and I suffered alone. I had to grieve the loss and it left me wondering if I'd be able to carry a baby to term. I realise that it must not have been a viable embryo but I still felt like I had lost a baby.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant a second time I told my closest family and friends. I didn't want to be alone again if I miscarried again.

If you have been effected by miscarriage and you are struggling with the loss seek help by talking to family, friends or a counsellor. The grief is real. The loss is real.